What the hell man, since twelve days before Christmas I have been consistently drunk every weekend leading up to the holiday. Vickna’s visit completely threw my plans of having a sober Christmas Eve. Seriously, you’d think knowing the guy for 11 years, I’d have learned by now. The discovery of a bottle of Chivas Regal wiped out all memory of the extended family’s Christmas Day dinner (thank you, Jesus?). Boxing Day, well, let’s not even go there. I’m hoping the one picture of me on the floor laughing that Anu took is just it – one picture.

Oh god, I need a new liver. While I’m at it, can I have a new brain, and can I exchange the heart for, uh, well, y’all can have it for free?